Confessions of a Chocowlholic

We all know that Macramé Owls love sweets, but chocowlholism is a specific addiction afflicting only a few. Macramé Owl Mike is one of them. Through years of chocolate abuse, Mike’s jute has turned a chocolate brown. While his chocolate intake is being monitored, every now again, he slips backward. Earlier today, I walked in on Mike and Alfonso partaking in a chocolate binge in my bedroom.

Alfonso was particularly startled, and was no doubt the instigator and enabler of this indulgence. Alfonso is particularly known for his mischief regarding sweets. (See also Alfonso’s Sweet Tooth.)

Rather than scolding or lecturing, sometimes it’s best to just leave a Macramé Owl to learn from his own experiences. When I went to check on them a few hours later, it was a sore, belly-aching sight: both Mike and Alfonso were on their backs, bellies distended, groaning with the discomfort of overdoing it on chocolate.

Let’s hope that this time, they learn their lesson!

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The Owly Way Is Essex

Macramé Owl Curtis is a fan of the TV show, “The Only Way Is Essex“. Having heard that star Lydia Bright recently opened a shop called Bella Sorella with her sister Georgia in Loughton, he fancied his chances to meet her. So, along with Blossom, we travelled there this past weekend.

Bella Sorella on Loughton High Road, Essex

Trying to build up the nerve to enter the shop, Curtis and Blossom decided to treat themselves to cakes across the road at Belgique.

Belgique in Loughton

There were so many to choose from, but Blossom enjoyed the almond mousse cake, while Curtis craved the fruit tart.

Blossom and Curtis at Belgique in Loughton, Essex

Then they spotted Mr Simms Olde Sweet Shoppe and decided to detour through there.

Mr Simms Olde Sweet Shoppe, Loughton, Essex

Blossom and Curtis were excited by the vast range of sweetie choices! (As you know, Macramé Owls love their sweets!)

Curtis and Blossom peruse the old fashioned sweets

They were dazzled by the rows of sugary treats!

Sugar rush!

They selected some Pick ‘n’ Mix.

Curtis and Blossom select some Pick 'n' Mix

Still lacking the confidence to go into Bella Sorella, they speculated on whether a drink for “dutch courage” at the local pub (The Last Post) was in order.

Annie Zalezsak with Curtis and Blossom

But Curtis’ shyness was too overwhelming to risk meeting Lydia at Bella Sorella that day. Back to the hotel they went to enjoy some of the treats they bought.

Blossom and Curtis with treats

The following day, Curtis regretted an opportunity missed (and worried about the teasing he might have to face from his friends back at the Macramé Owl Sanctuary). So he finally drummed up the nerve to go into the Bella Sorella shop. And before I knew it, there they were, Blossom and Curtis, within the shop window and ever so near to the stars of The Only Way Is Essex!

Blossom and Curtis in the window of Bella Sorella

While Blossom and I (Annie Zed) admired this beautiful dress, Curtis remained shyly standoffish.

Annie and Blossom admire Lydia Bright's dress at Bella Sorella

Curtis still needed some nudging to get in for a close-up with the TOWIE girls.

Blossom and Curtis were in heaven amid the luscious cupcakes at Bella Sorella!

Curtis was particularly starry-eyed to be so near a cupcake with sweet thing Lydia’s picture on it!

Curtis with Lydia cupcakes

Satisfied with their visit, they posed with another fabulous Essex girl, Jacqui Cullen, outside the shop.

Curtis and Blossom with Essex girl, Jacqui Cullen

Little did Curtis know, Lydia was smiling at him from inside the store!

Lydia knows!

Happy with their purchases back at the hotel, Curtis and Blossom marvel about their Essex experiences.

Curtis and Blossom with their Bella Sorella purchases

Curtis is still dreaming about how close he was to Lydia. He still can’t bring himself to eat the cupcake with her photo on it!

Curtis with Lydia cupcake and other Bella Sorella sweet things

Macramé Owl Desecration

This is perhaps the most astonishing Macramé Owl survival story we have heard of to date. Have tissues at the ready. This story will move you to tears.

A little over 2 weeks ago, far away in New Zealand, Colleen Millar innocently purchased a doormat. Concerned about the environment, Colleen was delighted when the shop keeper assured her that the mat was made of recycled materials. Rolled up tightly with cotton string, she took the doormat home.

When she unrolled it, some mysterious objects fell out.

She didn’t think much about it at the time. She simply laid the doormat out on her door step.

Colleen is an avid supporter of the Macramé Owl Sanctuary and a frequent visitor to our Facebook page. Upon reading our report about Macramé Owl poaching, she was mortified to learn that Macramé Owls are still be hunted for their jute. When she put two-and-two together, she became considerably alarmed. Were poached Macramé Owl bodies recycled for something as indignant as a doormat?! Desperate for advice, she sent us this picture of her doormat (see below) and expressed her distress at this inconceivable possibility.

Doormat... or is it?

The Macramé Owl Sanctuary Team hears many tragic stories of Macramé Owl neglect. But this story truly hit home. Sadly, we had to inform Colleen that she may have unknowingly been involved in an immoral transaction with this purchase. We advised her to check the mat carefully for any remnants of ceramic eye or beak. Colleen reports:

“It occured to me that I had noticed a feather or two in the house. I just thought they had been blown in by the wind. But suddenly, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I ran to the door, and Bob, our cat, had already made the gruesome discovery. Bob had somehow flipped the mat over, and was investigating random pieces of Macramé Owl parts!

“I nearly heaved. It was a disgusting sight! Nonetheless, I knew I had to photo-document this so that other innocent shoppers are not deceived; that they will be alerted about what to look for; and that no Macramé Owl is victimized by this insane, inhumane criminality ever again.”

Colleen with doormat made of recycled Macramé Owl

While we may never know what horrors this Macramé Owl has been through, or what he looked like in his former incarnation, there is a happy ending to this atrocity. This doormat landed in the hands of Colleen, a caring Macramé Owl advocate, who just so happens to work as a Sterilization Technician in a medical environment. Colleen explains:

“There are some fine surgeons on our team, so I asked for their advice, and pulled in a few favours,” said Colleen. “It was touch-and-go at times, and I really wasn’t sure Frankie would pull through reconstructive surgery following such a traumatic ordeal. It just goes to show you what immense survival spirit the Macramé Owl species has. We’ll save them from extinction yet!”

Pictured below, a relieved Colleen keeps Frankie warm as he recuperates from surgery at home. How did he get the name Frankie? Colleen reveals:

“Well, obviously, we didn’t know what variety of Macramé Owl he was. Or even if he was a he or a she! So we named ‘him’ Frankie, after Frankenstein. We felt it was appropriate since we rebuilt him from random Macramé Owl parts and gave him life. I admit, he is a bit odd looking, and has a tendency to stare at nothing in particular, but that is typical of most Macramé Owls… isn’t it?”

Frankie and Colleen

Out of all tragedy comes some good. Colleen has since volunteered to campaign for Macramé Owl Anti-Poaching laws to be introduced into New Zealand. She truly exemplifies our motto: WITTOSOMO! (Whatever It Takes To Save Our Macramé Owls!)

Alfonso’s American Debut

After surviving a long night of hunting in the kitchen area of the Macramé Owl Sanctuary for all things sweet, scrumptious and caffeinated, Alfonso was slightly exhausted this morning.

Alfonso is reluctant to get out of bed

Yesterday was such an exciting day for Alfonso. After being woken up from his usual daytime sleep-a-thon at the unearthly hour of 2pm (UK time), Alfonso was asked to dress up in his most luxurious and colourful Owloween bow tie. He was to appear along with his contemporaries on “Good Day Sacramento” for their Halloween Weekend Special with Cody Stark and Amy Carraba.

Rosemary, Alfonso and Sherman nervously wait in the ‘green room’ prior to going live on air via Skype.

Rosemary, Alfonso and Sherman

Alfonso with his beak in the airUnfortunately, Alfonso was also to appear with the three, slightly weird sanctuary workers, Annie, Zoë and Viv.

In Alfonso’s words “those three cookie gals get in on everything and ride on the back of my up and coming fame”. With this, Alfonso stuck his beak in the air and stayed that way for the remainder of the afternoon.

It has been noticed that he is developing a real attitude of late with all the fame, photographs and celebrity status that is a-knocking at his door! Alfonso was not impressed that jaundiced Skippy muscled in on the action. But that’s life, and Alfonso has to concede that poor Skippy has been through the mill and back since his rescue. Skippy really looks up to Alfonso as well. So eventually, Alfonso forgave Skippy’s impromptu entrance onto the silver screen.

Alfonso gives Skippy some attitude

Alfonso went straight back to his perch after his American television debut. He was absolutely exhausted and decided that a feed of delicious fruity jam preserves, a beakful of cookies, and a steaming cappuccino was the order of the day.

Macrame Owl Alfonso

Following his feast, Alfonso settled down for a long, deep sleep and hoped he would dream about the most exciting night to follow – “Owloween” – the night when Macramé Owls gather and feast on amazing fare and reminisce about days gone by, cheese fondues, and cool Kaftans – Owlsome!

Happy Owloween!

As the trio prepare to go out trick-or-treating, Skippy hams it up by playing dead zombie in the Halloween treat bowl!

♥ ♥ ♥

Click here to watch Macrame Owl’s interview on Goodday Sacramento. If you’re in the USA and would like to donate Macrame Owls to the Sanctuary, you can send them to the station care of:

“Cody Stark, Keeper of the Macramé Owls”
2713 Kovr Drive
West Sacramento, CA 95605

♥ ♥ ♥

Vivienne Foley, Macramé Owl Rehabilitation Expert (MORE)This guest blog post is
written by Vivienne Foley,
Macramé Owl Rehabilitation Expert (MORE)

Macramé Owl Poaching

Warning: The Contents of this Post May Shock and Disturb You

I recently travelled to Canada to investigate reports that Macramé Owls are still being hunted for their jute. I discovered that Macramé Owl poaching is still rampant in the wilds of the western provinces. The severity of this environmental disrespect is still unknown, but we are making progress in uncovering the secrecy surrounding this despicable — nay, diabolical — behaviour. We need your help to stop this insanity now!

While there, I met an amazing person with an inspiring story of personal transformation. Amith Perera used to be a Macramé Owl Poacher. At one time, he saw this loathsome practice as a masculine, high adrenalin, entertaining sport. But before you judge, read Amith’s story.

Confessions of a Former Macramé Owl Poacher

“I used to be a Macramé Owl poacher myself. Outright, blatant and proud. It was such a rush! Stalking them, trapping them, and then hanging them proudly on my cabin walls.

“One day, I shot a Great Wooden Hoop Macramé Owl. For years, this variety had been my most valuable, highly sought-after kill; my greatest, proudest trophy. But as the gun shot echoed across the valley, something shocked my senses, thrusting me into a different time, shifting my thoughts, feelings, and the direction of my entire life.

“Within the harsh, dead silence that followed, I heard a meek and sombre “whoooo whoooo”. It stopped me in my tracks. As a lone tear escaped down my cheek, I whispered my guilty reply:

“meee… meee…”

“I fell to my knees in remorseful despair. I realized I had shot a mother Macramé Owl, leaving its grieving orphans desperately seeking to understand the blasphemous act that had just taken place.

“I had to rethink my entire life. I had to take full responsibility for my actions. I vowed, there and then, to never, ever harm another Macramé Owl again — not even the pathetic, ugly ones!

“I now devote my life to protecting all Macramé Owls from harm.”

Reformed

Amith now campaigns for Macramé Owl anti-poaching laws to be passed. He not only enforces regulations by bringing Macramé Owl poachers to justice; he also mediates between transgressors and victims to create greater inter-species peace and understanding.

I was so inspired by Amith’s story and resulting compassion for the plight of the Macramé Owl, that I invited him to join the Macramé Owl Sanctuary Team (Canadian Division) as our MOAPER (Macramé Owl Anti-Poaching Enforcement Regulator). He graciously accepted and we welcome his ‘insider’ information to aid our cause in saving many more Macramé Owls from devastation and trauma.

Below:  Macramé Owl Ignatius (‘Iggy’ for short) congratulates Amith in his new role as MOAPER.

Iggy congratulates Amith

How to Identify Macramé Owl Poaching Behaviour

Through photographic re-enactments, Amith, Iggy and other Macramé Owl residents agreed to show our concerned Macramé Owl enthusiasts just what to look out for when identifying a despicable act of Macramé Owl poaching.

No Macramé Owls were harmed during this photo shoot. Any trauma re-lived by Iggy and the others was closely supervised by a professional Macramé Owl psychologist.

The Stalk, Swoop, and Swing Method. Below: Through some lame shrubbery, the poacher stalks the unsuspecting Macramé Owl hanging around in a tree amid an apparently safe locale, minding his own business.

Poacher stalks a Macramé Owl

The poacher swoops in, catching the Macramé Owl by complete surprise.

With absolutely no respect or dignity toward the Macramé Owl, the poacher rudely swings him over his shoulder and ignorantly saunters off with his prey.

The Lie and Leap Method. Below: The poacher patiently lies in waiting for the perfect moment to leap up and pounce on his prize.

As the poacher prepares to leap upward, the Lemon Macramé Owl notices in the nick of time, letting out an ear-piercing screech!

Alerted by the warning, and much to the poacher’s dismay, the Lime Macramé Owl has flown off to another tree for safety. Still, this does not deter the greedy poacher as he continues to leap in the direction of his prey.

Note: The only thing that will scare off a poacher, is if he knows YOU are around as a witness. Don’t be afraid to let him know you disapprove. Macramé Owl poachers are cowards that prey only on the innocent and defenseless. We ask that you bravely intercept a Macramé Owl poacher and stop him from continual victimization of these special creatures. He is sure to depart quickly, and empty-handed.

The Sneak and Snatch Method. Below: Here, the poacher cleverly sneaks up behind the trees where two unsuspecting Macramé Owls are socializing.

This tactic makes it easy for the poacher to snatch the smaller varieties of Macramé Owl.

The Entangle and Entrap Method. Below: This naive Macramé Owl is under the illusion that she is safe within (what she thinks is effective) camouflage.

But the determined Macramé Owl poacher stops at nothing to get what he is after. He uses a clever entanglement technique causing the so-called ‘safe camouflage’ environment to entrap the Macramé Owl. Despite a defiant struggle, the Macramé Owl is helplessly caught in the branches… and swiftly winds up in the evil arms of the poacher.

It cannot be said enough:

Music Group

At the Macramé Owl Sanctuary, we provide the best opportunities for our residents to experience great entertainment and participate in creative activities. Greg is a highly skilled musician, singer and song writer. Zoë is an avid percussionist in Samba Galez. With such talent in the team, our Macramé Owls always have a song in their hearts.

As you can see, Alfonso (wearing headphones) has a particular interest in music technology. Madeleine and Lavinia are fond of the keyboards, while some of the others take a more relaxed perspective and enjoy the singsong. 

Greg and Zoë jamming with the Macramé Owls

Sometimes, it gets a bit rowdy with some old time rock and roll tunes.

Zoë and Greg get rowdy with some Macramé Owl rock and roll tunes

At the end of a music session, Zoë lulls Skippy to sleep with a sweet and delicate lullaby.

Zoe lulls Skippy to sleep with a sweet and delicate lullaby

Clever Macramé Owl Rescue

Albino Macrame Owls from window

From an upstairs window of her home, Loraine Gliser of Holts Summit, Missouri in the USA, spotted two rather large Albino Macramé Owls taking refuge in a tree in her back garden. With a mixture of alarm and excitement, she carefully ventured near and attempted to coax them down. But they must have been through quite an ordeal as they seemed to be paralyzed by fear and would not budge. She tried to subliminally mesmerize them, yet they remained motionless.

Loraine Gliser attempting to mesmerize the Macrame Owls

They stayed in the tree for quite some time.

Albino Macrame Owls in the tree

After several phone calls to husband Mike Gliser, he was able to rush home to aid Loraine in the rescue. Fortunately, Mike had read up on Macramé handling techniques in the past. Now was his chance to put this knowledge into practice. However, his first attempt received some resistance.

Mike Gliser attempting to rescue Albino Macrame Owls

It was then that the couple realized this pair would need greater persuasion. But what would entice them? Knowing that some species are drawn to shiny objects, Loraine had an idea. Fetching a gleaming green ribbon bow, she flashed it in the direction of the Macramé Owls. Then, holding it behind her back, she pretended to walk away, nonchalantly. Just look how the one on the left is relentlessly staring after her!

Loraine Gliser tempting Albino Macrame Owls with a shiny green bow behind her back!

Well, this worked! Soon, the pair were making themselves very comfortable indoors!

Albino Macramé Owl pair with a shiny green bow