Macramé Owl Poaching

Warning: The Contents of this Post May Shock and Disturb You

I recently travelled to Canada to investigate reports that Macramé Owls are still being hunted for their jute. I discovered that Macramé Owl poaching is still rampant in the wilds of the western provinces. The severity of this environmental disrespect is still unknown, but we are making progress in uncovering the secrecy surrounding this despicable — nay, diabolical — behaviour. We need your help to stop this insanity now!

While there, I met an amazing person with an inspiring story of personal transformation. Amith Perera used to be a Macramé Owl Poacher. At one time, he saw this loathsome practice as a masculine, high adrenalin, entertaining sport. But before you judge, read Amith’s story.

Confessions of a Former Macramé Owl Poacher

“I used to be a Macramé Owl poacher myself. Outright, blatant and proud. It was such a rush! Stalking them, trapping them, and then hanging them proudly on my cabin walls.

“One day, I shot a Great Wooden Hoop Macramé Owl. For years, this variety had been my most valuable, highly sought-after kill; my greatest, proudest trophy. But as the gun shot echoed across the valley, something shocked my senses, thrusting me into a different time, shifting my thoughts, feelings, and the direction of my entire life.

“Within the harsh, dead silence that followed, I heard a meek and sombre “whoooo whoooo”. It stopped me in my tracks. As a lone tear escaped down my cheek, I whispered my guilty reply:

“meee… meee…”

“I fell to my knees in remorseful despair. I realized I had shot a mother Macramé Owl, leaving its grieving orphans desperately seeking to understand the blasphemous act that had just taken place.

“I had to rethink my entire life. I had to take full responsibility for my actions. I vowed, there and then, to never, ever harm another Macramé Owl again — not even the pathetic, ugly ones!

“I now devote my life to protecting all Macramé Owls from harm.”

Reformed

Amith now campaigns for Macramé Owl anti-poaching laws to be passed. He not only enforces regulations by bringing Macramé Owl poachers to justice; he also mediates between transgressors and victims to create greater inter-species peace and understanding.

I was so inspired by Amith’s story and resulting compassion for the plight of the Macramé Owl, that I invited him to join the Macramé Owl Sanctuary Team (Canadian Division) as our MOAPER (Macramé Owl Anti-Poaching Enforcement Regulator). He graciously accepted and we welcome his ‘insider’ information to aid our cause in saving many more Macramé Owls from devastation and trauma.

Below:  Macramé Owl Ignatius (‘Iggy’ for short) congratulates Amith in his new role as MOAPER.

How to Identify Macramé Owl Poaching Behaviour

Through photographic re-enactments, Amith, Iggy and other Macramé Owl residents agreed to show our concerned Macramé Owl enthusiasts just what to look out for when identifying a despicable act of Macramé Owl poaching.

No Macramé Owls were harmed during this photo shoot. Any trauma re-lived by Iggy and the others was closely supervised by a professional Macramé Owl psychologist.

The Stalk, Swoop, and Swing Method. Below: Through some lame shrubbery, the poacher stalks the unsuspecting Macramé Owl hanging around in a tree amid an apparently safe locale, minding his own business.

The poacher swoops in, catching the Macramé Owl by complete surprise.

With absolutely no respect or dignity toward the Macramé Owl, the poacher rudely swings him over his shoulder and ignorantly saunters off with his prey.

The Lie and Leap Method. Below: The poacher patiently lies in waiting for the perfect moment to leap up and pounce on his prize.

As the poacher prepares to leap upward, the Lemon Macramé Owl notices in the nick of time, letting out an ear-piercing screech!

Alerted by the warning, and much to the poacher’s dismay, the Lime Macramé Owl has flown off to another tree for safety. Still, this does not deter the greedy poacher as he continues to leap in the direction of his prey.

Note: The only thing that will scare off a poacher, is if he knows YOU are around as a witness. Don’t be afraid to let him know you disapprove. Macramé Owl poachers are cowards that prey only on the innocent and defenseless. We ask that you bravely intercept a Macramé Owl poacher and stop him from continual victimization of these special creatures. He is sure to depart quickly, and empty-handed.

The Sneak and Snatch Method. Below: Here, the poacher cleverly sneaks up behind the trees where two unsuspecting Macramé Owls are socializing.

This tactic makes it easy for the poacher to snatch the smaller varieties of Macramé Owl.

The Entangle and Entrap Method. Below: This naive Macramé Owl is under the illusion that she is safe within (what she thinks is effective) camouflage.

But the determined Macramé Owl poacher stops at nothing to get what he is after. He uses a clever entanglement technique causing the so-called ‘safe camouflage’ environment to entrap the Macramé Owl. Despite a defiant struggle, the Macramé Owl is helplessly caught in the branches… and swiftly winds up in the evil arms of the poacher.

It cannot be said enough: